Decision Fatique Are You Suffering Decision Fatigue?

Merry Fall Equinox!

Are You Suffering Decision Fatigue?

This is a real thing. Psychologist, Dr. Roy F. Baumeister discribes this mental illness in his book, Willpower. If you’re in the groove for a new pop-psych book, I highly recommend this one.

A modern-day psychological disorder, decision fatigue is growing into a monster in people’s personal lives and workplaces. For some, making upwards of twenty impactful decisions an hour means they have maxed out their mental ability to decide.

Making decisions usurps mental energy and deciding wisely demands focus and balance. On the one side of the scale, you have the paralyzing fear of making the wrong decision and paying unforeseeable consequences for it. For the rest of your life.

Equally pressing on the other side of the scale is a push to choose NOW, which may be real or imagined. Some work situations may demand that you decide promptly, and this may be true particularly if others are involved in the process. If you must make a lot of decisions in quick succession then it will sorely impact on other areas in your life where you also need to make decisions, such as those concerning your private life.

High Powered Deciders

Having to make constant decisions may force you to start picking your decision battles such as, what to wear, eat, be entertained by, etc. People with demanding jobs favour a uniform for work; such as, a gray hoodie and jeans (Mark Zuckerberg) or jeans and a black turtleneck (Steve Jobs).

I’ve spoken with clients who complain about spouses/lovers who never seem to have any opinions or preferences about how they should spend their time together. They complain about always being the ones who must pick something to do because if they don’t, as a couple, they will end up sitting in front of the TV, night after night. If you find yourself in this boat, likely you are loving someone who is suffering decision fatigue in other parts of their lives and they need help getting it sorted out.

I knew a dominatrix sex worker who described her typical client as a high-powered executive/professional who felt a desperate need to be dominated by someone who was good at taking charge. For a specific, previously contracted amount of time, she made all the decisions and effectively, safely, meted out predictable punishments. Her client base was substantial and the demand for her services was perennially far greater than she could possibly fulfill.

She was a busy, phenomenally successful businesswoman who exploited this dynamic brilliantly. Her clients needed some time when they could just be like a child; no decisions, responsibilities or power. Rarely did their sessions include sex.

How Have I Helped Others to Make Decisions They Can Live With?

Decisions are a major element in my work with clients. Most people who consult with me are stuck betwixt and between opposing options. They must decide whether to remain in their committed relationship or continue working at their current job: They may need help deciding how to approach a stressful familial issue, or illness, or whether they should sell their house or invest in a business. My stymied clients are afraid of making a choice they will regret, or they wonder if they might have missed a third option. They need to know what the outcome is likely to be depending on the choice they make and how their loved ones are likely to react to their chosen course of action.

Making Decisions is Lonely

Consultations with me will demand that you sit and ponder, free from distraction. They afford you an opportunity to talk things through with someone who is not in your life. You are driven to go offline for a while and focus on where you’re at, where you want to be, what you’re hoping for your future self and where you’re likely heading. Most clients will say I’ve just validated what they had already surmised. It was nice however, to have that validation.

Making decisions can be lonely because we fear talking to anyone who knows us well about it. We know loved ones will likely and understandably have an axe to grind. We may also feel despondent at the notion of sharing our decision angst with someone who may be inclined to tell us what we want to hear because that’s just a waste of time and energy.

We need to have the plain, honest thoughts from someone who has no vested interest in which direction we choose. Someone who has no judgement. It’s nice to have some sense of our futures as well. We don’t need to hear that we’re crazy or that things will just work themselves out because we know in our hearts that’s just not true.

As we slip into the autumn season, we’ll all be making more than our average number of decisions. Do what you can to keep the decision demon at bay. Pick the ones you must make and let go of the ones that are not as critical. Prioritize, consult and be mindful that you don’t get overwhelmed and fatigued. Save your energy for the big things that demand your full attention. And no matter what, don’t take on someone else’s decision load! That’s their garden to weed and hoe.

Blessings Kathleen

YouTube Video Uploads & Channel

I’ve restarted uploading new videos to my YouTube channel this past week so more will be added in the next few days. If you have enjoyed this series which describes a clients’ questions, the cards drawn and interpreted, you might like to subscribe to my YouTube channel and press the notification bell so every time I’ve uploaded a new video you’ll receive an email in your inbox.

Here are a couple that have been very popular! Just click on the link to go directly to the YouTube site.