Partnership Between Soulmates Spells Disaster

Happy Family Day

The Problem with Soulmates

Somewhat tentatively, I ask a client who wonders if s/he is their soulmate, “What does this notion of soulmates mean to you?” Aside from the obvious that my soulmate is not yours, everyone has a selection of characteristics that they believe will signal that they are in the presence of their soulmate. And let’s be honest, a person’s soulmate 99% of the time refers to the mate segment of the word.Soulmate indicators may be physical (height, weight, colouring), personality (serious, quiet, risk-taking), spiritual (religion) or intellectual (education, aspirations). In any case, most are confident their soulmate is both attractive and attracted to them. You might imagine that this is a rather frivolous query but in truth it’s daunting and powerful. Who we partner with in life will have a life altering impact on the decisions we make. Decisions for example that will determine the status of our health, who or if we have offspring, our longevity, geographical location, career path, self-esteem and other familial and friend relationships. Sadly, most people choose their life partners impulsively, randomly and well to be blunt, rather mindlessly. People who are the most hesitant of risk-takers by nature will leap into a partnership with someone they meet on vacation, online or at the local grocery store. True Spiritual Soulmates are Not Good PartnersA soul mate is someone our soul is attached to, often inexplicably yet determinedly. Because this attraction has nothing to do with ego, lust or apparent practicality, it’s crazy-making. It is also highly unlikely that they would be the perfect mate for us in any respect. Your soulmate from the perspective of soul has nothing to do with mating. Take a moment to really think about this.A soulmate is like your own personal guru. Your true soul mate is a spiritual twin not an embodied one. This means that your soul mate may be presenting in a relationship which is sibling, parent, child, distant relative, friend, colleague or neighbour. It might just be someone you meet sitting next to you on the public transit. It is that individual whom, upon meeting them for the first time, you feel as if you are spiritually home. No words are necessary for the two of you to be at-one yet they are your absolute and perfect opposite in every way. Complete and absolute opposite.The two of you together after all make up a complete whole. Where they love details, you love the big picture; where you love art, they love accounting; where you love to talk about everything, they are silent; where you love to travel, they love being at home. Imagine partnering with someone that opposite to you. You say white and they say black. And together, you must find the gray. It would be frustrating, conflicting, intriguing and at the same time very addictive. Not one person in your social circle would understand or condone the alliance and no matter how hard you tried to explain it, you would fail miserably. Partnership Between Soulmates is a DisasterYou would want to be with them all the time yet rarely would you see eye to eye on anything of import. Or agree on where to be. You would be driven to question every idea, feeling, impulse or choice you make driving you constantly up a challenging spiral of growth, and awareness. It would be exhausting, exhilarating and crazy-making. I pray to meet mine in the spirit world once I’m done with this one. A more peaceful place in which to find the gray together.Your ideal mate is someone who shares fundamental common ground; such as, values, world view and personality. These compatibilities would never be shared between soulmates. Sympathy and affinity are words that fit more accurately to mates than opposition, contrary, and debate. I would be more comfortable with the question, “Is this person going to make a life-enhancing partner for me?” I can work with that question with more accuracy and ease. It’s a difficult process to describe because even when starting out as friends/pals, a successful long-term mating is not any more likely. People who describe their love relationships as good friends that traversed to coupledom, often describe the relationship becoming plagued with mundane arguing. Inexplicably the passion has dissolved!Finding Your True LoveIt is tricky business. Too many aspects of you as a couple must be aligned. But not too much! Or the relationship shifts into buddy-land. Passionless, sibling-like, comfortable or conflicted, frustrating, and prickly. Both sides must feel attracted, patient and respectful and plan to remain that way through the thick and thin of a complicated life. As you ponder romance throughout this month, consider carefully what it is you are prepared to work very hard for in your love relationships. If you aren’t in a serious relationship, and you’re seeing hearts and flowers, chocolates and jewelry everywhere, this is a good time to dream and ponder.

Blessings Kathleen

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